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40-Y.O. S.W.M. W/LIGHT DRUG HABIT & HAIR TRIGGER TEMPER
From track wheel sets to girls in their underwear, loft-sized apartment rentals to guys willing to let you come over and do them in theirs – Craig’s List is really a one stop shop for pervs, horn-dogs, lonely hearts or people looking to find guaranteed ass. Regardless if you’re the hottest or the coolest in the city, chances are you’ve perused the Missed Connections section on the off chance that “Tall Tattooed Guy in Williamsburg” is your click away to eternal bliss. Who knows, entire relationships have existed via the world wide web, it might be filled with freaks, but you’re on here too… MISSED CONNECTIONS Missed Connections = Velvet Elvis Painting? Niiiice… Blackbird Cafe, 12:30ish today - You: medical student, 27, in punk band. My friend and I spoke to you for a while about films, ours in particular... I thought you were into her, so didn't pursue, but she says the opposite... who knows? But... TOTALLY digging the excuse to use missed connections, hah! This is the romantic equivalent of a Velvet Elvis painting, AWESOME. The Blonde. All About the Pheremones We chatted about the possible source of the peculiar odors. No, it definitely wasn't you. Wish I'd have been able to stay longer. Who Hasn’t Thought About Jerking Off in a Steam Room? Yesterday, you were wearing a white towel and your foot, 12 inches (oh yes!), tapped a light on the floor. You kept tapping the light as if you were performing morse code for me. One tap is I like you. Two taps is move closer. And three taps is let's jerk off together. Next time, that will be our code. Our way of communication. Our way of getting the most out of the David Barton Steam Room Experience. Signed, I Want to Bone My Housemate I figured when you moved in a few months ago that being around you would be simple enough to deal with, but damn if I don't have the biggest crush on you now. I'm usually pretty cool with it, until we have a conversation and then I can't stop looking at you. Why do you have to be so cute? This is completely impractical of me. Location: ThirtysomethinginBushwick Married People Need Love Too I see you each morning chatting away with your friends and I am too shy to attempt conversation. You are cute, married and you sit in the last car. I wouldn't mind taking you out for coffee. I am married too. And said you like the oxford wing tip. I said I got them in France. I just wanted to tell you I got them from Montpellier Armand Thiery. You liked my shoes. I liked you. I leave town today at 3pm. Would you like to get brunch or lunch? Hope you write back. This was on the N between 8th-NYU and 14th St, going uptown. M 4 W WANT ADS Funny ‘Cos It’s True my name is marcellis im 5'9 play football and basketball (that means i actually played on a team and not jus for fun) i love to make people laugh and goin out to movies or basically anywhere thats exciting. i go to school studying to become an auto mechanic technichian. im 19 i do not discriminate open to anyone who thinks they can have a good time with me and make me laugh. if you feel your the one then email me anytime She Really Wants to Get Cuffed Hi, I'm J. I live in Queens and am pursuing a doctorate in industrial psychology, which helps The Man get into your head and mess with you. I come from an ultra-strict Korean Christian family -- and if you think Catholic girls are wild and rebellious ... I'm looking for someone who is equally comfortable discussing epistomology, "Middlesex," and "So You Think You Can Dance." Generally, those sorts of someones don't happen to like girls ... but if you do, then send me your funniest, most cringe-worthy pick-up line. I'll only respond to lines that would make my parents cry. Oh Millenials… Im interested in tall, slim/avg. guys w| some sort of style or creative mind He Should Be Into... About Me: If for any reason you think your compatible with my lifestyle, NO PIC GETS NO REPLY Oh. My. God. I guess I better behave and not be fresh to the CL men. Then maybe they will put a good word in for me. I don't know if Hanukkah Harry has one of those special gifts for me. Now get your minds out of the gutter!! I was referring to a nice single Jewish man, tall, with hair, teeth , brains and manners. By the way, is Hanukkah Harry related to Santa Claus? Do they get their inventory from the same place? If Hanukkah Harry just gives me a stale old latke, then I might have to turn to Santa Claus. I always have cookies and milk here but I don't have a chimney, so he will have to walk through the door with his fat tuchas! |
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